thenightembraceme

(via skullprincess)

just logging back on to tumblr after many years lmao why do I have so many followers help

squeerpia:

ALT
Meaningful quotes from Contrapoint’s last video

bunieboo:

Y’all don’t understand how fucking funny this is

(via thinksideways)

(via lovethythrall)

bemusedlybespectacled:

catlips001:
m0uthslikesidewindermissiles:
catlips001:
kosmonin:
do kids these days know about glomping?
What is that?
hehe…. *glomps you* OwO
:3
What the fuck?
The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost; for none now live who remember it.

(via thinksideways)

copperbadge:

digitaldiscipline:
copperbadge:
anonymousalchemist:
anonymousalchemist:
anonymousalchemist:
job interviews: did you mean, advanced lying
small talk: did you mean, normal lying
the concept of the self: did you mean, secret lying
Don’t call me out like this.
a to-do list: did you mean, aspirational lying
WHAT DID I JUST SAY

(via skullprincess)

realphilosophytube:

i give all the guys at my gym secret nicknames; they’ll never know but now you can imagine such iconic characters as:

- Fresh Cut Kylo Ren
- Captain Misogyny
- Super Mario
- Shady
- Donald Glover
- Mister Handsome
- Dan Olson’s Dad
- the Power Bottom
- Designer™
- Discount Thor
- Idris Elba
- Luigi
- the Three Stooges
- Jack Fuckstick
- Buff Jack Fuckstick
- Jack Fuckstick’s Dad
- Old Man, Look at My Life
- the big dug
- Maria Sharapova
- Mr. Game & Watch

smeliots:

okwait:
thatenglishchap:
pirate-queen-ali:
thatenglishchap:
polymathematical:
monkeysaysficus:
great-tweets:
👀
They have nine beverages between the two of them
i have that painting ai app on my phone so i went ahead and took the liberty…
What they have are five beverages and four waters. Water, by definition, cannot be a beverage.
The fuck do you mean water cant be a beverage?
My brothers not havin it

(Source: twitter.com, via skullprincess)

todaysbird:
“ goawfma:
“ these are the best names
”
the best part of this is that it implies this is the SIXTH cat named glycolysis
”

lesbabeths:

i could never be the victim in the horror movie that gets the ominous phone calls because i just literally do not answer the phone ever

(via skullprincess)

glixbitch:

Facebook: we analysed your entire internet history, tracked your location and took a deep dive into your personal relationships, and we’ve decided to recommend you this specific conditioner that you also saw in your local Tesco two days ago, aint that neat!
Tumblr: HEY sHITHEAD *slurring words* how would you like to buy *throws dart* a gym membership for your *spins wheel* pARROT

(via skullprincess)

nitrostreak:

frazelclapclap:
I feel like we don’t talk about the OG text on this meme enough
What the FUCK

(via thinksideways)

cardboardlamb:

girl: come over
me: i can’t, i’m using my sensitive barbels scour the riverbed for morsels of food
girl: i hollowed out a nesting cavity under a flat stone
me:

(via skullprincess)

(via iknewiwouldregretthis)

do kids these days know about glomping?

job interviews: did you mean, advanced lying

small talk: did you mean, normal lying

the concept of the self: did you mean, secret lying

👀