The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost; for none now live who remember it.
i give all the guys at my gym secret nicknames; they’ll never know but now you can imagine such iconic characters as:
- Fresh Cut Kylo Ren - Captain Misogyny - Super Mario - Shady - Donald Glover - Mister Handsome - Dan Olson’s Dad - the Power Bottom - Designer™ - Discount Thor - Idris Elba - Luigi - the Three Stooges - Jack Fuckstick - Buff Jack Fuckstick - Jack Fuckstick’s Dad - Old Man, Look at My Life - the big dug - Maria Sharapova - Mr. Game & Watch
Facebook: we analysed your entire internet history, tracked your location and took a deep dive into your personal relationships, and we’ve decided to recommend you this specific conditioner that you also saw in your local Tesco two days ago, aint that neat!
Tumblr: HEY sHITHEAD *slurring words* how would you like to buy *throws dart* a gym membership for your *spins wheel* pARROT
girl: come over me: i can’t, i’m using my sensitive barbels scour the riverbed for morsels of food girl: i hollowed out a nesting cavity under a flat stone me: